This is my favorite chapter for this book 《Everyone Communicates》,
because it shows us why the humour is important for ourselves, and how
humour does influence our communication.
In our daily life, how many good communicator do you remember? How do we
describe those good communicators who have connected with us and attract
our attention? We may say, Entertaining, Energetic, Humorous and so on,
because they might tell us something meaningful, memorable, and
I am a firm believer that the voice with which you express yourself
is the most important part of the equation–and how that voice finds
expression is entirely up to your own Personal Brand.
For example: If you are a writer, your voice lives on paper. If you
are a musician, your voice lives within your instrument. If you are a
model, your voice resides in your eyes. If you are an executive, a
keynote speaker, your voice comes through your speech.
Creating a memorable Personal Brand is not about having a “good”
voice. Or even a “great” voice. It’s about having your own voice.
One that when people hear it, they know who it is.
Connector Create An Experience Everyone Enjoys
How you present yourself is what gives your voice a wardrobe, another
layer of expression.
Steve Job’s style was a black turtleneck.Mark Zuckerberg’s style was
Whatever your Style is, just make sure it aligns with who you are and
the type of audience you’re looking to attract.Wear what is
comfortable for you.
And do you remember when you are talking with partner or talk with a
group of people, even deliver a speech in front of people, there was
someone who sat under the stage and felt sleepy? In that time, we might
feel so bad! We could say something inside. What the fuck audience!?
What hell you doing!?
A very understated part of building a Personal Brand, your mannerisms
often say more about you than the things said outright.
Do you give firm handshakes or lazy ones? Do you maintain strong eye
contact or do you look away? Do you hold the door open for the person
behind you? Do you use foul language in every setting or do you censor
yourself? Do you check your phone every 5 minutes or do you stay
present for the entire meeting?
All these little details end up contributing to the larger portrait
of Who You Are and should not be forgotten along the way.
However, when we are listening a speech or talking with friends, the
object people are bad at connecting with us, they cannot capture our
attention, then how do we describe them?
When it comes to dating, it’s said that you learn a lot about the
other person as soon as you meet their friends.Who we associate with
and with whom we spend our time says more about us than we realize. A
big part of building a Personal Brand is also who you collaborate
with, share with, work with and inherently give your stamp of
Remember: You are the product of the 5 people you spend the most time
with in your life. If for no other reason than to ensure your own
positive self development, keep a close eye on who you give your time
I guess the word must be Boring! And because of boring communication so
that we made a cemetery communiation.
Success is a firework–it’s an elusive mountain peak you touch, stand
on, and then it’s over.If your Personal Brand is based on any one
“success,” you aren’t in it for the long haul. People can only stay
excited about a win for so long.
Instead, think about building a Personal Brand around your habits.
What do you do every day ? What is your morning routine ? How do you
approach your work? How do you overcome obstacles? What inspires you
to keep moving forward? How do you practice your craft ?
Our habits are what build us as people–and they are also what build
a meaningful Personal Brand. If you want an audience that’s going to
stay with you for a long time, don’t build around your
“successes.”Build around your habits.
CEMETERY COMMUNICATION: LOTS OF PEOPLE ARE OUT THERE, BUT NOBODY IS
Regardless of what your goal is for building a Personal Brand,
realize that what makes a Personal Brand so unique is that it is based
upon you as a person. Which means that whatever you say, you have to
stand behind. You have to believe it and follow through with it.
If you say you’re going to do something for your audience–do it. If
you promise something, keep that promise. Your connection with your
audience is all about maintaining that honesty, integrity, and
loyalty.Keep your word, no matter what.
So be an interesting people is quite important. If we were an
interesting person, our partners could enjoy living with us, our
co-workers could enjoy working with us, our customers could enjoy
talking with us, our audiences could enjoy listening to us.
And finally, if you want to know what speaks volumes when it comes to
Personal Branding, here it is:BE CONSISTENT.Why ? Because it rewards
both you, the creator, and your audience.
Connector Create An Experience Everyone Enjoys
Then we can back to this chapter《Connectors create and experience
everyone enjoys》. The first key word is INTERESTING. ATTENTION! Being
an interesting person can be learned!
This chapter gives us seven things we’d better do.
1. Take Responsibility For Your Listeners.
There are no bad audiences, only bad speakers. So we don’t need to blame
the audiences, they did nothing wrong. If the audience is asleep, the
only person who needs to be wake up is the speaker ownself. We have the
best chance for success when we know that audiences’ attention is our
Before we start deliver a speech, or talk with people, we could think
about thouse questions.
How can I capture their attention?
What is necessary to make this speech memorable?
How can I caputre their attention and keep them with me to the very
Remember! That is our job to creat interest in listeners, activate
the audience, enjoy the experience, and add value to others!
2. Communicate In The World.
People don’t remember what we think is importnt, they remember what
they think is important.
After I started learning English, I know that because different
countries say different languages, so different civilizations must think
differently. Even both chinese, we may say different dialects. So how
can we think different, but connect with others? Think as what our
partners think. If we want to get our message across, we have to learn
how to communicate in someone else’s world.
Everyone has the same situation: Talk at me and you’ll talk alone. Talk
to me and I’ll listen. Talk about me and I’ll listen for hours.
To connect with others in their world, we can not just live in our own
world. We must link what we want to say to what others’ needs
3. Capture People’s Attention From The Start.
People have remote controls in their heads toay. If you don’t catch
their interest, they just click you off.
Actually, we don’t have much time beore people either turn in or turn
of. If they turn of, we must work very hard to win their attention back.
And recently, we both know the attention is the most precious resource.
So give them a very good first impression and start well are very
First, we can smile, then introduce ourselves, and ask other’s name. In
other hand, to be an ice breaker. Warm up the automospher. Second, relax
ourselves, even we may feel a little nervous if we don’t have much
communication experience. Third, let us begin with humour, humour is a
very important lesson for us to learn if we want to be a good
communicator, when we speak with humours, our partner feel happy
immidiately, then connect together. Finally, creat a sense of
anticipation, in other hand, help them learn something they are
4. Activate Your Audience.
That’s quite easy to communicate with people who are hightly energetic
and active like Sunday or any Toastmasters’ fellows. However, we live
more in the sociaty, not as pure as Paradise. So we should not just move
forward and hope for the best as sweet as a dream, if we want to connect
with them, we must activate them and get them involved.
We can ask question, before the communication prepared few more
questions and topics is a great idea! We can’t wait for people to get
involved, we need to do things that invite them into the process. Get
people moving, because the movement gives everybody a quick break
from the routine include daily work, we can do exercise together, play
some games or streach our body. Ask people to interact, give other
people chance to communicate with each other with a topic or without
also doesn’t matter, let them introduce themselves and share their
ideas, remember! Their voice matters!
Then the main point is still about the speaker, would better bring the
energy to the audiences and to activate them.
5. Say It So It Sticks.
All great communicator did one thing in common, which is the speaker
said something that people remember long time after the talk was
completed. We can try to say things or share experience in ways that
people will remember, I know that is quite diffcult!
If we want people to remember what we say, we would better say the
right thing at the right moment in the right way!
So we need learning:
link what we say with what people need, nothing makes a speech
more memorable than need. Find a way to be original, the more
predictable listeners think we are, the lower the impact we make on
them, if we lower our predictability, we increase our impact. Don’t let
audiences know what will happen, give them suprise, let them willing to
know more about our story as a magic trick. Use humor and a shocking
statement or statistic. If we have information on our topic that will
grab prople’s attention, then please use it! We know we can say things
with humours, and we say things in an interesting way. After that
we must learn to pause, anytime we engage in non stop speaking
without pausing, people’s minds will disengage. However, if we pause,
even for a moment, the audiences get chance to consider what we have
just said, and we may have a chance to get their around applause!
Especially, I did many mistakes, when others were applausing to me, I
still spoke to them, them they stoped applause. How stupid I did, from
now on, let us learn together! To pause! To get comfortable with
silence! To let it become an exclamation point for things we say.
People pay attention when something that is said connects with
something they greatly desire.
6. Be Visual.
In my speech learning menual, there is a specific project, VISUAL AID.
What people see has become increasingly important, we need to find a way
to appeal visually to our listeners in some way. For example:
PowerPoint, films, pictures and so on! Actually, it also include,
movement, facial expressions, body language, some little tools, even eye
contact. Actually when we bring something specially and show it in a
special way can give people amazing! Anything we bring which can help
people visually helps them to connect with us.
7. Tell stories.
Perhaps the most effective way to capture prople’s interest and make the
experience enjoyable when you talk is to include stories! If we put our
thought in a story, or even make up a suitable story can give people
When we speak, we share interesting sotries with them. We take
people on a journey with us.
All great communicators use stories, because people remember more in a
store than in only methods. And our brains are programmed much more for
sotries than for abstract idesas or anything else, storytelling improves
the experience. We use stories to make sense of our experience, we share
them to help people understand more and more.
Acutally, for this point, I may write down more in the future. For this
time, let me finish it as soon as possible.
Be The Communicator We Want To Hear!
Be The Person With Whom We Want To Connect!